called, closed, together today…

called
closed
together today
tonight
away
forever
not never
she waited
for me to speak
without words
together
with you
forever
not never
a song
came to mind
not mine
of a bird
flying away
into the night
butterfly
of wings blue
speckled red
your face
like the dead
warning
together
not never
forever
assimilated
closed off
in fear
a man
lying in an african field
brown patterend shirt
fearing animal attack
cloudless sky
pillars
greek
santorini islands
deep blue sea
a young woman’s dress
flowing behind her
like a a tattered sail
she walks barefoot
towards a middle aged man
smiling
embrace
holding hands

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longing

longing
walking through
douglas furs
forest paths
ancient gothic
stone architecture
carved
into the rockface
oxidized copper
misty mossy
cavernous paths
entwining stairs
darkness peering out
onto stone balconies
overlooking
mountainous
river valley vista;
another
was always there
beloved woman
saddened
about her son
or about me
or relieved
at our escape
of something;
like others
like us
our age
we sat
atop and amidst
those vistas
and felt
our miseries
and ecstasies;
old man yonder
sitting alone on the bench
watching
longing.

fantasies allied with moments

brown spotted
endless ripples
green pillar
beneath the sun
on a plate
on my fork
the caring
for someone else
or perhaps the suffering
the caring
for something
nothing absolute
but from my perspective
it’s their perspective
some thoughts
feelings
patterns
waves of interference
with each other
and everything else
different fantasies
allied with
different moments
the current one
an infinite desert red
eternity of sand
and a single pueblo house
overarched
by midnight sky
a single wife
of the earth
hair darker
than the earth
the current flicker
of monistic eternity.

platonic sickness

if i
only lived
before i live
i might
do right
the next
ten years
before falling
really in love,
living
really at home,
really
with my family;
i might look
at the million hers
with less purpose
and more ease
and she might
look the same,
not yet tired
or indebted
or worried
about
regretted unaccomplishments.
for a second
her image flickered
in my head
half unconscious
and I but shadows
remember
though I run
mental marathons
to re-paint
the picture
theorem in the fire
of consciousness;
i have dreamed
that face
for nearly ten years,
growing with me
yet unavailable
a message
a fantasy
or an ideal
at whom
with whom
i stare
through others
our minds
the same
inseparable knife
through
a fabric of mind
spacetime
i would
know you
even
if i didn’t
see you
feel you
as in of me
a mirror
within patterns
reorganized
and called
the life of me
my mind
you were
were you
but here
i gaze
at your face
in pieces.

one more day, closed ambiently…

one more day
closed ambiently
stagnantly
summer
covered over
fallen below
the sound of green stillness
smells a certain way
held on
gathered up
and sustained
as self
i hold health
but know not forever
waiting or denying
just holding
patience
for hope
and a feeling
ever-deepening
of conscience,
reconciliation,
and waiting
for an army of myself
outside
or a single beautiful bride
within or without.

silence underneath…

silence underneath,
contorted effort
grown all day,
loud confronted
walking down eyes
bluely cold
tired, hurt, no more
goodness, goodness
i’ve had enough
distraction appealing
for its own sake,
his own sake
not to listen
and she follows
not to hurt him,
compassion
worn down
smoothed over,
gentle heart
worn down
exhausted,
no thank-you
is big enough,
her joy
kept in a safe place
at a distance,
intelligent girl,
dilemmas
all around
too many
to remember,
so let’s forget
and warm
each other’s minds,
listening cushions,
only until the difference
is forgotten,
forget me,
so i can be
the gentleness
i love best,
if I ask,
touched slightly
make me wait,
healing laughter
after me
where I set
a heart
thought
waiting
to carry
your world
in wishes
unthinking
of reward.