no — not ever

no — not ever.
the horror,
the terror,
of loneliness
is nothing, but
for the insight
that it is
ontological.

blue-gray city,
looking across
the harbor,
the steel,
sky, and waves
all seem
the same color.

stern faces,
serious adults,
so concerned about
some result,
so willing
to punish to
make it happen.

a hawk’s wings,
against sky blue,
a brown, red,
blue, and white
camouflaged
cornucopia of
multi-colored corn.

a proud, war-worn
face, 1940s cropped
hair, jaw raised
defiantly, vainly.

it’s mine!
no it isn’t!
you’ve had enough!
no i haven’t!

on the edges
of the party,
there was
a funeral.

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called, closed, together today…

called
closed
together today
tonight
away
forever
not never
she waited
for me to speak
without words
together
with you
forever
not never
a song
came to mind
not mine
of a bird
flying away
into the night
butterfly
of wings blue
speckled red
your face
like the dead
warning
together
not never
forever
assimilated
closed off
in fear
a man
lying in an african field
brown patterend shirt
fearing animal attack
cloudless sky
pillars
greek
santorini islands
deep blue sea
a young woman’s dress
flowing behind her
like a a tattered sail
she walks barefoot
towards a middle aged man
smiling
embrace
holding hands

the mind imagines stability

The mind
imagines
imposes
stability
on an ocean
of momentary
flickering moments,
like the frames
of a movie
seen as ‘motion’
of ‘matter’
in ‘time’;
sensation
plays the eyes
for the eager mind
and the algorithms
that once
produced an outcome
are applied again
and again
and adapted
until successful,
becoming
an ever more refined
actor in the
mind-extrapolated
plot
according to the
mind-extrapolated
agenda.
I once saw
something I loved,
then it turned
in an unfavorable light
and I
could no longer
conscionably
love that
hideous thing
as myself,
so I became
something hideous
and now
I can love it again…
for the moment.
We are
an unutterable
present annihilation.
We
remember the past
and
imagine the future;
there is no time…
just the present,
which itself also
is barely mnemically
removed from
the actual present.

stars and pines…

stars and pines
dry bluegreen
silence smell
the memories
of a house-dweller
absolute answer
ominously
on the edge
life’s end
vibrance-then-lack
and no words
or half answers
waiting on goals
for circumstances
to change
intention with meaning
without action
this is ‘mind’
cold underlays
all effort
but the cold
isn’t cold
the waves crest
into effervescent ice
out of
the ocean’s current.

the wild wild sea

shimmer green
course
the grass-covered dunes
of wind-cascading brown
and white sand-glass
shimmers
all around
wildflowers red
ants scurrying
the dust
hurriedly
past crabs
and the roar
of misty blue
mystery
from foot to horizon
in-depth-inate
mirror
of from feathered grace
to violence
gliding
across-through
the sun-sitting
brown ground
shimmers.