post-9/11

it’s hard enough
to live
mindful
of personal decay
and eventual death
in this academic
stress culture
bubble
without
having
to worry about
awakening
to the agony
of sarin
smallpox
cyanide
or anthrax
in the air
or water,
walking down the street
waking up
is horrifyingly
unknowable
and uncontrollable
enough,
i fear that
i have not
the wherewithal
to do
mentally straining
school work
and still
keep the
mental knots
of self
untied enough
to handle
sudden death.